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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004093">The Toddler Invasion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorToBeNamedLater/pseuds/AuthorToBeNamedLater'>AuthorToBeNamedLater</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anakin Skywalker Doesn't Turn to the Dark Side, CT-7567 | Rex is a Good Bro, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Healthy Coping Mechanisms, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Humor, Mental Health Issues, Padmé Amidala Lives, Post-Star Wars: The Clone Wars, References to Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008), Skywalker Family Feels (Star Wars)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:01:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27004093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuthorToBeNamedLater/pseuds/AuthorToBeNamedLater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin needs help with the twins, and Rex is all he can find. They definitely do not talk about how the war left both of them walking disasters.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>CT-7567 | Rex &amp; Anakin Skywalker, CT-7567 | Rex &amp; Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa &amp; CT-7567 | Rex, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>207</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Toddler Invasion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>MrToBeNamedLater deserves all the credit for not only coming up with this idea but kicking me in the tail to actually write and post it. *kisses Mr for all of fandom to see*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As the afternoon sun set over Coruscant’s Military District, Commander Rex of the Grand Army of The Republic’s storied 501<sup>st</sup> Legion sat at his desk in total silence, lost in concentration, tapping away at a report due in less than 24 hours.</p>
<p>When his commlink beeped and split the silence like an anvil, Rex nearly yelped and knocked the desk over in surprise.</p>
<p><em>Do that in the field and you’ll get yourself and everyone around you killed, </em>a voice in Rex’s head reprimanded.</p>
<p><em>Well, I’m not in the field, am I? </em>Rex fired back at his own mind.</p>
<p>The comm sounded again.</p>
<p>With a long breath to steady his rattled nerves, Rex picked up the commlink. “Rex here.” He tried not to sound like his heart was up in his throat.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Rex. Are you busy?”</em>
</p>
<p>Rex frowned. “General Skywalker?”</p>
<p><em>“Yes. Are you busy?” </em>Skywalker repeated impatiently.</p>
<p>“I’m finishing up the Chandrila report,” Rex answered.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I need reinforcements.”</em>
</p>
<p>All of Rex’s soldier instincts fired up like an engine. “Sir?” He started going for his footlocker.</p>
<p>
  <em>“I can’t handle the twins.”</em>
</p>
<p>The instinct engine stalled. Rex blinked. “Excuse me?”</p>
<p><em>“I can’t handle them,” </em>Skywalker said again.<em> “Padme’s on Naboo until tomorrow. You need to get over here.”</em></p>
<p>“Me?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Yes, you.”</em>
</p>
<p><em>I must be dreaming. There’s no way General Skywalker is calling me to babysit. </em>“Can’t you call Ahsoka?”</p>
<p><em>“She’s on Mandalore.” </em>Something clattered. <em>“Luke, put that down!” </em></p>
<p>“What about General—uh, Obi-Wan?” Rex tried again.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Obi-Wan’s…on some other planet. I don’t know where he is. Listen, I need you. Just hurry up and get here.”</em>
</p>
<p>Rex was still struggling to process it all. “The report—”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Can wait.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Chancellor Organa—”</p>
<p><em>“I’ll deal with Bail. I can’t deal with these kids.” </em>Skywalker sighed. <em>“Come on Rex, you’re my only hope.”</em></p>
<p>His general might have a flair for the dramatic, Rex thought, but this was a bit much.</p>
<p>Another crash came through the tiny speaker.</p>
<p>
  <em>Or maybe it’s not a bit much.</em>
</p>
<p>Rex did the only thing a soldier could do when his commanding officer issued a ludicrous order. He obeyed.</p>
<p>“I’m on my way over, sir.”</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p><em>Oh, for the love…. </em>Rex groaned to himself as he entered the lobby of 500 Republica. <em>Why does he have to be on detail tonight?</em></p>
<p>The clone behind the security concierge desk looked up. “Well, look what the Loth-cat dragged in.”</p>
<p>“What are you doing here, Fox?” Rex stopped in front of the desk and crossed his arms.</p>
<p>“Working.” Fox looked Rex up and down like a training officer on Kamino assessing a cadet. “You?”</p>
<p>“Also working,” Rex answered his fellow commander shortly. He was already feeling testy, and Fox was just about the last person he wanted to deal with right now.</p>
<p>Fox arched an eyebrow in an expression Rex had to think was inherited from Jango Fett—all clones, Rex himself included, had it. “You’re in a mood.”</p>
<p>“Just let me up to General Skywalker's place."</p>
<p>“Ahhhhh, Skywalker. What’s he need you for?”</p>
<p>“None of your business.” Rex was quickly moving from moderately annoyed to downright pissed off.</p>
<p>“Actually, it <em>is </em>my business who comes into this building and why,” Fox returned, not seeming to care about Rex’s increasingly obvious irritation. “Besides, it’s a boring shift so far. I could use a little scuttlebutt.” Fox leaned forward. “Skywalker can’t handle his kids without Amidala, can he?”</p>
<p>Rex’s jaw dropped. “How did you—”</p>
<p>“You’re forgetting I have an inside source.” Fox smiled thinly. “Also: It’s not a business day, not business hours, and you’re wearing civvies. All of that tells me…” Fox wagged a finger at Rex, “you aren’t here on business.”</p>
<p>“Proud of yourself for that observation?” Rex asked icily.</p>
<p>“As a matter of fact, yes I am,” Fox answered. “Have to say I’m surprised Skywalker made it this long.”</p>
<p>Rex crossed his arms. “Watch it, Commander. You’re talking about the man who personally accepted General Grievous’s surrender and is probably the only reason we’re both still alive.”</p>
<p>“And yet, here you are.”</p>
<p>Much as he wanted to, Rex couldn’t argue with that. “Just hit the button and let me in.”</p>
<p>Fox reached over to push the elevator’s call button without taking his eyes off Rex.</p>
<p>“If I see Senator Chuchi, I’ll tell her you said hello,” Rex shot as the elevator dinged.</p>
<p>Fox was maddeningly nonplussed at the jab. “You know, Riyo’s not the only eligible bachelorette in the Senate.”</p>
<p>“Good night, Fox.” Rex stepped into the elevator.</p>
<p>“All I’m saying, is a good tumble might pull the stick out of your—”</p>
<p>Rex hit the “door close” button before Fox could finish.</p>
<p><em>Relax. Relax, relax, relax, </em>Rex told himself. Fox was one thing, but Rex wouldn’t turn his temper on Luke and Leia.</p>
<p>Rex rubbed his temples and leaned his head back on the wall. <em>Ahsoka getting framed for the Temple bombing was years ago. Fox was just doing his job. I could stand to cut him a little slack.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Nah.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>When did I become such a grouch, anyway?</em>
</p>
<p>The elevator doors opened and Rex strode across the hall to penthouse unit 1977. He tried the chime.</p>
<p>Nothing.</p>
<p><em>Fine then. </em>Skywalker had given Rex the entry code. Time to use it.</p>
<p>Rex punched the numbers in and the door slid back to reveal that Skywalker had definitely not exaggerated his predicament.</p>
<p>General Skywalker’s home looked like a war zone. And Rex knew a thing or two about war zones, so he had a large sample size from which to draw the conclusion.</p>
<p>“Uh.” Rex looked about awkwardly as the door slid shut behind him. “Um. Hello? General Skywalker?”</p>
<p>“Ucca Rex!” A tornado of blond enthusiasm barreled out of the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Rex’s knees.</p>
<p>“Hi, Luke.” Rex distractedly patted the boy’s head. “Where’s—”</p>
<p>Skywalker came around the corner. “All right, Luke, let go of Uncle Rex.” He peeled Luke’s arms away from Rex’s legs and the boy ran off in search of who knew what. “Rex.” Skywalker straightened. “I could kiss you.”</p>
<p>“I’d rather you didn’t, sir,” Rex deadpanned.</p>
<p>An electronic scream split the air. Out of the twins’ bedroom sped R2-D2 with a giggling Leia perched atop his dome.</p>
<p>“Leia, stop riding Artoo like an eopie!” Skywalker ordered, prying his daughter off the droid.</p>
<p>“Your astromech’s here?” Rex asked dumbly.</p>
<p>“Where else would he be?” Skywalker set Leia on the floor. “Hey! Leia! Look who’s here!” He steered the brunette in Rex’s direction.</p>
<p><em>Where else? Maybe a hangar like all the normal astromechs?</em> But then, Anakin Skywalker was not a normal…anything. So naturally, he would keep his droid in his living room.</p>
<p>“Ucca Rex! Toss!” Leia demanded gleefully, dashing across the room with her arms outstretched.</p>
<p>“OK, yes, yes, toss.” Rex swept the little girl off the ground and tossed her over his head.</p>
<p>Leia’s delighted squeal loosened some of the tightness in Rex’s gut. He swung her down to his chest and planted kiss on her cheek. “How you doing, princess?”</p>
<p>“I’m not a princess,” Leia giggled, wiping her cheek on Rex’s shirt.</p>
<p>“Nonsense! Your mother was a queen, wasn’t she?” Rex put Leia back on the floor.</p>
<p>“Yes.” Leia was still giggling.</p>
<p>“Well, there you go,” Rex said with finality. “That makes you a princess.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know you don’t mind,” Skywalker was saying to Artoo. “But you aren’t a toy.”</p>
<p>The droid made a disgruntled beep and rolled away, Leia on his heels.</p>
<p>Rex took in the toys and laundry scattered about the living area, along with a couple of chairs. “What happened here, sir?”</p>
<p>“Toddlers, Rex.” Skywalker raked a hand through his messy hair. He always looked a little wild, even at his spit-and-polished best, but now he looked a <em>lot </em>wild. <em>These kids really have done a number on him.</em> “Toddlers happened.” Skywalker crossed his arms and surveyed the penthouse like he was assessing the terrain on a battlefield. “We have a toddler invasion.”</p>
<p>Rex snorted a laugh and mimicked the Jedi’s posture. “All right then, General. There are two of us and two of them, and we’re bigger than they are.”</p>
<p>“Uh-huh, that’s not gonna help us,” Skywalker said. “‘Size matters not.’ Didn’t Master Yoda teach you anything?”</p>
<p>“I’ve never even met Master Yoda,” Rex pointed out.</p>
<p>“Right. Yeah. Well, he’s right about the size thing. I never understood it until I had toddlers.”</p>
<p>Both twins had retreated to the rear of the penthouse, and the silence made Rex inexplicably uneasy. “In that case, we’ll need to find their weak point.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know anything about kids, do you, Rex?” Skywalker was eyeing the back room with a look that said he shared Rex’s discomfort with the twins’ quiet.</p>
<p>“Not really, sir.” Aside from Luke and Leia, and occasionally cadets back on Kamino, Rex had almost no experience with children.</p>
<p>“OK.” Skywalker fixed Rex with a hard gaze. “This is not like any battle you’ve ever fought, Commander. We have no hope of victory. Our only objective is survival.”</p>
<p>Before Rex could think of a response, Luke and Leia charged out of the master bedroom, Luke wielding some small object Rex was sure the child shouldn’t have.</p>
<p>“I’m the last Laser Master!” The little boy proclaimed as he aimed a red laser right at Rex’s chest.</p>
<p>Rex reflexively flinched away from the light and his hand went for a blaster that wasn’t on his hip.</p>
<p><em>“Hey!” </em>Skywalker thundered, yanking the pointer out of Luke’s hand and grabbing the child’s arm none too gently. “Luke! We’ve been over this! You <em>do not </em>point Mama’s laser pointer at Uncle Rex!”</p>
<p>“It’s all right,” Rex croaked.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Luke apologized, shrinking back from his father’s fury.</p>
<p>“It’s all right,” Rex repeated, hoping to ward off any further shouting. He lifted his eyes to Luke, who looked like he wanted to disappear into the wall. “Luke, it’s OK. I’m not mad.”</p>
<p>Luke scurried forward and hugged Rex’s legs. “Sorry, Ucca Rex.”</p>
<p>Grateful for the opportunity to sit down before his knees turned into jelly, Rex lowered himself to the floor and pulled the little boy onto his lap. “It’s OK. You didn’t know."</p>
<p>Leia hugged him from behind and Rex started again. “Ucca Rex? Sad?”</p>
<p>Damned Force-sensitive children. “No, Leia, I’m fine,” Rex lied as his heart pounded against his ribcage.</p>
<p>Skywalker was watching the exchange tensely, and Rex gave his general a look that he hoped said <em>“Drop it.”</em></p>
<p>“Now,” Rex said when he could keep his voice steady, “I understand you two hooligans have been giving your daddy some trouble.”</p>
<p>“No,” Luke said without a shred of compunction.</p>
<p>“No?” Rex looked down at the squirming youngling. “Are you saying your daddy’s a liar?”</p>
<p>“Daddy, can we watch <em>Last Laser Master</em>?” Leia changed the subject.</p>
<p>“Ugh, no,” Skywalker said with unfiltered disdain. “We are not watching any more of that show. It’s stupid <em>and </em>inaccurate.”</p>
<p>Rex gave a questioning look.</p>
<p>“Their Form V lightsaber combat is terrible,” Skywalker added as if it were a typical observation.</p>
<p>“Well.” Rex stood and grabbed the children by the hands. “Lucky for you, Uncle Rex is not a swordsmanship snob.” This earned him a dirty look from Skywalker. “So let’s watch <em>The Last Laser Master</em>.”</p>
<p>The twins cheered and headed for the couch.</p>
<p>“Traitor,” Skywalker grumbled good-naturedly.</p>
<p>“Don’t you have one of those cleaning droids?” Rex asked as he maneuvered around the mess and sat on the too soft (for his liking, anyway) couch and gathered one twin on either side.</p>
<p>“Daddy broke her,” Leia announced.</p>
<p>“I <em>did not </em>‘break’ Seedee,” Skywalker said as he began gathering up the evidence of his children’s destruction. “She’s getting an upgrade.”</p>
<p><em>An upgrade. Really. </em>Rex knew all about Skywalker’s “upgrades.” “Luke, hand me the remote.”</p>
<p>“Daddy, you do it.” Luke wriggled around to face his father. “You get the remote.”</p>
<p>“No, Luke, Uncle Rex asked you to get the remote.” Skywalker said as he went about bringing the living room to a semi-organized state.</p>
<p>“Daddy! Please?” Luke begged.</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Leia joined in.</p>
<p>“No.” Skywalker dropped a pile of laundry on the armchair. “You know the rules. We don’t use the Force carelessly.”</p>
<p>Rex couldn’t stop himself. He busted out laughing. Oh, this was <em>rich. </em>General Skywalker suddenly concerned about careless use of the Force.</p>
<p>“Does your old master know about your newfound respect for proper Force use?” Rex ribbed, trying to quell his laughter.</p>
<p>Artoo trundled into the room and beeped something that sounded rude before he started flipping through the HoloNet channels.</p>
<p>“I didn’t bring you here to laugh at me, Rex.” Skywalker started off for the kitchen.</p>
<p>Rex’s comm beeped.</p>
<p><em>When it rains it pours. </em>“Hey, Leia, Uncle Rex needs his arm.” Rex disentangled his left arm from behind the girl. “Rex here,” he answered the call, still chuckling slightly.</p>
<p><em>“Um, Commander?” </em>The nervous voice on the other end said. <em>“It’s Mayhem. Do you…know where Commander Cody is?”</em></p>
<p>Rex’s laughter died and he stared at his comm. Mayhem was one of the clones close enough to battle maturity when the war ended that the Republic had slated him for service. He hadn’t been off Kamino more than a few months.</p>
<p>And he wasn’t named Mayhem for nothing.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t know where Cody is,” Rex answered. “What’s going on, Mayhem?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Nothing.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Where are you?”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Nowhere.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Trooper….”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Just, if you see him—”</em>
</p>
<p>“Which Coruscant Guard precinct shall I send him to?”</p>
<p><em>“We’re not in the slammer!” </em>Mayhem protested. Skywalker laughed from the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Mm-hm,” Rex hummed.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Just tell him we need him.”</em>
</p>
<p>Rex narrowed his eyes. “Wait, what do you mean ‘we’?”</p>
<p><em>“Thank you, sir!” </em>Mayhem abruptly cut the transmission.</p>
<p><em>Shinies. Fekking shinies. </em>Rex pulled up the text function on his comm and fired off a message to Cody.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Mayhem commed looking for you. Probably in a jail cell somewhere.</strong>
</p>
<p>Artoo made a questioning trill.</p>
<p>“Yes, Artoo, you can start the show now,” Rex answered. <em>I understood that. How did I understand that? </em>He turned back to his message.</p>
<p>
  <strong>Mind your own shinies.</strong>
</p>
<p>Without waiting for a response, Rex flicked off the notifications setting, tossed the comm onto the end table, and turned his attention to the holoscreen.</p>
<p>“Oh, come on, these guys can’t even hit a target!” Rex groused as two sorry excuses for soldiers fired at an enemy who seemed impervious to their assault.</p>
<p>“See what I mean?” Skywalker called. “Stupid and inaccurate.”</p>
<p>“Can you hit a target, Ucca Rex?” Leia asked, dead serious.</p>
<p>“I most certainly can,” Rex told her with playful indignation.</p>
<p>“Can you teach me to hit a target?”</p>
<p>Rex chuckled at the image of the tiny girl wielding a blaster. “Someday, little one, someday.”</p>
<p>“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Luke said.</p>
<p>“I know, son, hold on,” Skywalker said. Rex heard some banging around.</p>
<p>“Pizza?” Leia asked.</p>
<p>“Uh-huh.” A few beeps sounded.</p>
<p>“Green?” Luke sounded suspicious now.</p>
<p>“No, Luke. No green.” The worn-down tone in Skywalker’s voice made Rex think this was a common discussion.</p>
<p>“Good.” Luke grabbed a colored cube toy on the couch.</p>
<p>Rex watched the tiny hands working, figuring out the puzzle with careful precision. He’d seen his men play with something similar. The goal was to arrange the smaller squares into a single color on each side. Few of the soldiers could do it, at least not quickly. Luke, however, was well on his way to solving the cube.</p>
<p>
  <em>When this kid is old enough to play with machines not a droid in the galaxy will be safe.</em>
</p>
<p>“OK, everyone, dinner’s up.” Skywalker deposited the pizza onto the small table in front of the couch.</p>
<p>“Yay!” Luke jumped from Rex’s side and went for the steaming pie.</p>
<p>Rex leaned forward to give the little boy a gentle swat on the arm. “Tell your daddy thank you.”</p>
<p>“Thank you!” Luke said around a mouthful of dinner.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Daddy,” Leia said primly.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome, my little mynocks.” Skywalker slumped into the armchair. Notably, Rex thought, without food or a move to get any.</p>
<p>Rex slid a piece of pizza onto the plate and handed it to Luke. “Luke, give this to your daddy,” he ordered quietly. Rex had spent enough time chasing Skywalker around battlefields with ration bars to know the man needed some prodding to eat when under stress.</p>
<p>“Ucca Rex.” Leia plated up some pizza and placed it on Rex’s lap, her dark eyes wide and earnest. “Eat.”</p>
<p>Rex gave a surprised laugh. “Yes, ma’am,” he acquiesced with an exaggerated salute.</p>
<p>“Mama always says guests first,” Leia informed.</p>
<p>Luke stopped dead. “Oops.”</p>
<p>“It’s OK; just eat,” Skywalker said tiredly, taking the plate from his son. “Thanks, Luke.”</p>
<p>Rex watched to make sure his commanding officer actually took a bite, then turned his attention the holo screen.</p>
<p>The next 45 minutes passed with Rex mentally cataloguing every blaster safety error on <em>The Last Laser Master</em>, Skywalker cataloguing every lightsaber combat error out loud, and the twins piping up with occasional observations.</p>
<p>“I want an orange lightsaber,” Luke declared at one point from his seat beside Rex.</p>
<p>“I want a pink one,” Leia, who had settled at Rex’s feet, said.</p>
<p>“Pink is a girly color,” Luke said with the derision only a little boy could muster.</p>
<p>“I’m a girl,” Leia pointed out.</p>
<p>Rex chuckled at the exchange. “Fair point.”</p>
<p>“Hey, as long as you fight better than these guys you can have whatever color lightsaber you want,” Skywalker said.</p>
<p>“So we <em>do </em>get lightsabers?” Leia fixed her father with a “gotcha” look that screamed Padme Amidala.</p>
<p>“When you earn them,” Skywalker said with uncharacteristic sternness. “And if you want them,” he added, softer this time.</p>
<p>Leia seemed to study her father for a moment, then climbed on the chair and nestled into his lap. Skywalker kissed her hair.</p>
<p>Clearly, Rex thought, this was a sore topic. Not without reason.</p>
<p>Rex felt something bump his right arm and looked down. Luke was worming his way under Rex’s arm, his head coming to rest on the clone’s shoulder.</p>
<p>Rex smiled down and the mop of blond hair.</p>
<p>
  <em>When did I stop feeling tense?</em>
</p>
<p>When didn’t matter. The only thing that mattered was Rex no longer felt like an undefined crisis loomed on the horizon.</p>
<p>It was a nice feeling. A really nice feeling.</p>
<p>“OK, kids,” Skywalker said once the show had finished. “It’s after bedtime. Come on, let’s go.” He gently pushed Leia off his lap.</p>
<p>“One more episode?” Luke tried to bargain.</p>
<p>“No. I’ve had enough of this show.” Skywalker turned off the HoloNet portal. “And, it’s bedtime.”</p>
<p>“Story?” Leia asked.</p>
<p><em>“No. </em>You two are up too late as it is. Now let’s go get ready for bed.”</p>
<p>“Cookie?” Luke persisted.</p>
<p>Skywalker’s patience was visibly wearing thin, not that it was especially thick to begin with. “Luke, I said it’s time for bed.”</p>
<p>Rex decided to try defusing the situation. “You know, Luke, even I have to go to bed if your daddy tells me to.”</p>
<p>Luke looked more than a bit skeptical. “Really?”</p>
<p>Rex nodded. “He’s my general.” Rex had, of course, ignored more than one of Skywalker’s orders to go to bed. But Luke didn’t need to know that.</p>
<p>Luke looked from Rex to his father and seemed to think for a few seconds. “You’re not <em>my </em>general,” he finally said to Skywalker.</p>
<p>Rex barely managed to cover his surprised laughter with a cough.</p>
<p>“No, I am your <em>father</em>!” Skywalker snapped.</p>
<p>“All right.” Rex stood with Luke still under his arm, swept Leia into his other arm and deposited both children on the floor. “There is only one solution to this.”</p>
<p>“No! No tickle attack!” Leia squealed.</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, tickle attack,” Rex said, and got to work.</p>
<p>“No! Ucca Rex!” Luke giggled helplessly.</p>
<p>“Sorry, this is what happens to younglings who don’t listen to their daddies.” Rex turned the brunt of his attack on Luke.</p>
<p>“No!” The boy squeaked through his laughter.</p>
<p>“You going to listen to your father now?” Rex asked without letting up.</p>
<p>“Yes!” Luke gasped.</p>
<p>“You’re going to get ready for bed?”</p>
<p>“Yes—<em>eep!</em>—yes, Ucca Rex.”</p>
<p>“OK, there’s one down.” Rex pivoted to pounce on Leia.</p>
<p>Leia twisted and almost managed to escape Rex’s grip.</p>
<p>“Ha!” Rex lunged and grabbed her by the shoulders. “No getting out!”</p>
<p>Leia kept laughing and trying to wriggle her way out—</p>
<p>--until she sat up and rammed the crown of her head squarely into Rex’s right cheekbone.</p>
<p>Somewhere through the pain exploding in his skull, Leia’s fretful apology and Skywalker’s exasperated reprimand, Rex mused that he should have thought to bring his helmet along.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>20 minutes later saw the twins in bed and Rex lying on the couch with an ice pack covering the right side of his face.</p>
<p>“Rex. Let’s see the eye,” Skywalker said.</p>
<p>Rex lifted the ice pack.</p>
<p>Skywalker grimaced. “Yeah, you better come up with a cover story for that.”</p>
<p>“Punching bag or a bar fight. Aren’t those the usual templates?” Rex replaced the pack.</p>
<p>Skywalker slumped into the armchair. “We need another war, Rex.”</p>
<p>Rex shifted his good eye to his general.</p>
<p>“Seriously.” Skywalker dropped his head into his hands. “War is easy. Kids are hard.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you the one who said it’s a good thing war is so awful because otherwise we might grow fond of it?”</p>
<p>“No, Obi-Wan said that,” Skywalker corrected.</p>
<p>“Well, I agree with him.” Rex took the ice pack off his swollen face and set it on the coffee table. “I’m getting a little old to fight wars.”</p>
<p>Skywalker lifted his head to peer at Rex. “You’re something like half my age.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I’m getting old faster.”</p>
<p>Skywalker shot him a look Rex couldn’t read.</p>
<p>“What’s your grand plan to placate Chancellor Organa?” Rex asked, closing his eyes.</p>
<p>“Being married to the Vice-Chancellor of the Republic has its advantages.” Rex could hear the sly smile in his CO’s voice. “One of them is, the Chancellor is unlikely to drop the proverbial hammer on me. I’ll tell him I needed you for something urgent.”</p>
<p>“That’s true enough, I suppose,” Rex answered through a yawn. Without the twins or any other matters holding his attention, he suddenly felt exhausted.</p>
<p>“Tired?” Skywalker asked.</p>
<p>“A bit.” Rex opened his eyes. “You’re right, sir. Kids <em>are </em>hard.”</p>
<p>“You know, you don’t have to ‘sir’ me, Rex,” Skywalker said. “We’re in my living room.”</p>
<p>Rex closed his eyes again. “You got it, sir.”</p>
<p>“I could order you not to ‘sir’ me,” Skywalker said.</p>
<p>“I thought we were in your living room.”</p>
<p>“Don’t use my words against me. I get enough of that from Padme.”</p>
<p>Rex hoped Skywalker wouldn’t press the issue further. In truth, he couldn’t drop the formality because it reminded him too much of his vain attempt to fight off Asajj Ventress’s mind control on Teth. When <em>“Anakin” </em>had been the only way he could signal that Ventress was luring them into a trap.</p>
<p>“Sorry about the, uh,” Skywalker cleared his throat. “The laser.”</p>
<p>Rex reached for the ice pack and settled it over his throbbing cheekbone. “It happens.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Skywalker acknowledged softly. Too softly. “It does.”</p>
<p>Once again, Rex turned a searching gaze on Skywalker.</p>
<p>“If I may say so, General Skywalker, there are nine Corellian hells and you look like all of them.” It was the closest Rex could come to outright asking if Skywalker had gone down the rabbit hole of wartime memories in his wife’s absence.</p>
<p>“You said it yourself.” Skywalker gave a faint smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Kids are hard.”</p>
<p>“So hard you can’t shave?”</p>
<p>Skywalker ran a hand over his stubble-laden face. “Padme digs the nerf-herder look.”</p>
<p>Deflection, then. It was all the answer Rex needed.</p>
<p>Rex sat up and the ice pack fell to his lap. “No, she doesn’t.”</p>
<p>“And how would you know?”</p>
<p>“I was there when she kissed you on the landing platform and said ‘yuck.’”</p>
<p>“I hadn’t brushed my teeth yet,” Skywalker said.</p>
<p>“You might be able to get away with that, <em>sir</em>, had she not yelled loudly enough for all of Coruscant to hear that she’d never kissed you with a beard,” Rex said.</p>
<p>Skywalker paused. “That never happened.”</p>
<p>“I have <em>at least </em>30 witnesses.”</p>
<p>Skywalker was shaking his head, but his face had <em>“busted” </em>written all over it. “They’re all wrong.”</p>
<p>The duo lapsed into companionable laughter for a few moments, then silence.</p>
<p>“I should get going, sir.” Rex started to rise from the couch.</p>
<p>“You don’t have to.” The nonchalance in Skywalker’s voice was decidedly forced.</p>
<p><em>“I don’t want you to,” </em>Rex heard.</p>
<p>“I, uh…” Skywalker cast a glace around the penthouse. “Forget the beard, Padme’s going to skin me alive if she sees this mess tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Rex sat back down. His black eye had turned into a full-blown headache and he didn’t really feel like traversing Coruscant’s public transportation system. Nothing awaited him at the GAR compound except an empty room, an unfinished AAR and the nightly shuffle of memories he’d rather not relive.</p>
<p>
  <em>Oh, what the hell. I don’t want to write that report, anyway.</em>
</p>
<p>“Let’s get down to business, then,” Rex said to Skywalker. “We’ve cleaned up worse messes.”</p>
<p>If they both had to fight a war their own minds, they might as well fight it together.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>.</p>
<p>“Ani.”</p>
<p>“Mm.” Anakin rolled over in bed.</p>
<p>“Ani, come on, love. Wake up.”</p>
<p>Anakin opened his eyes. “Hey, Angel.” He smiled up at Padme. “When did you get in?”</p>
<p>“Just now.” Padme sat on the bed and Anakin pulled her down into his arms. “You’re scruffy.”</p>
<p>“You like me scruffy-looking,” Anakin mumbled.</p>
<p>“Actually, I don’t.” Padme kissed his forehead and ran her fingers through his hair. “Why is Rex sleeping on our couch and how did he get a black eye?”</p>
<p>“Bar fight.” Anakin said sleepily.</p>
<p>“Ani,” Padme was starting to laugh now. “Rex did not get into a bar fight.”</p>
<p>“Punching bag.”</p>
<p>“Did it punch him back?”</p>
<p>“Must have,” Anakin yawned.</p>
<p>“Ani."</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“Why is Rex sleeping on our couch?” Padme asked again.</p>
<p>“He had to sleep somewhere,” Anakin answered.</p>
<p>Padme sat up. “Anakin.”</p>
<p>“Hm?” Anakin lazily opened his eyes.</p>
<p>Padme leaned forward. “Why is Rex <em>here in the first place</em>?”</p>
<p>“A man can’t call a buddy for some company?”</p>
<p>“You called him in to get the kids under control, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“So what if I did?”</p>
<p>Padme’s smile turned teasing. “The great General Anakin Skywalker, hero of the Galactic Civil War, couldn’t handle his own children by himself for four days.”</p>
<p>“Hey, I made it through the first three just fine.” Anakin pushed himself up on his elbows. “Just needed some help for the last one.”</p>
<p>Padme shook her head and kissed Anakin’s nose. “Well, rise and shine, General. We should probably at least feed your commander before he heads out.”</p>
<p>“OK.” Anakin grabbed a shirt from the floor and tugged it over his head. “I’ll go get the kids.”</p>
<p>As if on cue, a door opened and two sets of feet scampered down the hall, accompanied by two little voices calling “Ucca Rex! Ucca Rex!”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Anakin called. “Kids! Your mom’s home!”</p>
<p>The footsteps shuffled and headed toward the master bedroom. “Mama!” Both twins exclaimed in unison, leaping into Padme’s arms.</p>
<p>“I’ll go get the stove going,” Anakin said as Padme and the twins exchanged hugs and kisses.</p>
<p>“I must say, Commander Rex, your injury looks rather painful,” Anakin heard Threepio saying.</p>
<p>“It’s, uh, it’s all right,” Rex responded uncomfortably. He’d obviously just woken up, and the entire right side of his face had turned purple and black overnight.</p>
<p>“Threepio’s right, Rex; you look like crap,” Anakin greeted cheerfully.</p>
<p>“Morning, sir,” Rex said.</p>
<p>“May I offer a cold pack?” The protocol droid asked.</p>
<p>“Threepio, leave Rex alone,” Anakin instructed, heading for the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Perhaps a painkiller would help?” Threepio attempted again.</p>
<p>“Hey! Threepio! Go make yourself useful,” Anakin called.</p>
<p>“I am trying to make myself useful, Master Ani,” Threepio said in his typically not-useful way. “As you can see, Commander Rex has sustained—”</p>
<p>“Go keep Luke and Leia busy,” Anakin cut Threepio off. <em>How did I ever build this socially tone-deaf scrap pile?</em></p>
<p>The twins bustled into the room and jumped onto Rex’s lap.</p>
<p>“Be careful, kids!” Padme cautioned.</p>
<p>“Good morning, ma’am,” Rex greeted formally.</p>
<p>Padme laughed. “Stop it, Rex, you don’t have to ‘ma’am’ me.” She walked into the kitchen to join Anakin. “Ani?”</p>
<p>“Mm?” Anakin set a pan on the counter and turned around.</p>
<p>“Were you OK?” Padme asked quietly, sliding her arms over his shoulders. “While I was gone?”</p>
<p>Anakin returned the hug and let his eyes linger on the couch. Luke was trying to levitate a small model ship amid Threepio’s warnings to keep away from Rex’s eye, all while Rex reassured Leia that his eye was fine.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Anakin kissed Padme’s hair. “Yeah. I was OK.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>"The Last Laser Master" is an actual song by the YouTube channel Auralnauts.</p>
<p>Yes, I named Mayhem after Allstate Mayhem whose commercials I love more than I should.</p>
<p>There IS pizza in the GFFA and I will fight anyone who tells me otherwise. Even you, Mr. (we had an actual conversation about this).</p>
<p>The line about war being terrible is a quote from US Confederate General Robert E Lee.</p>
<p>Why yes, yes I did put a Star Trek reference in a Star Wars fic. Anyone who can spot it gets a story with your chosen prompt. :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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